A tall woman dressed in a torn black dress stood at the top of a snowy hill, looking down on the sleeping village below. One side of her red painted lips turned up in a cruel smirk. Her long, deep blue hair fell over her eyes, covering them. She growled low in her throat and leapt into the air, a large pair of wings tearing through the fabric of her dress. She spread her grey feathered wings wide, and swept through the air towards the village impossibly fast. A man stepped on to the hill as she sped away. The man glared through the dark night after her. His copper hair moved in the wind created by the womans beating wings. The man sighed and crouched down, like a lion about to pounce, then sprang into the night, higher than the woman could have hoped to go. He landed at the foot of the hill soundlessly, then sprinted into the village, faster than human eyes could follow, chasing after the winged shadow of the woman.
A young girl, barely old enough to be out on her own, was struggling through the snow outside the village. Her father had taken her hunting with him, but he had fallen prey to something hiding in the shadows. The girls hands were blue with cold, but stained red with blood. She looked up into the night sky as wind blew fresh snow into the region. She shivered and struggled onwards, longing for the warmth of home and the comfort of her mother. The girl froze suddenly. She had seen something in the corner of her eye. She turned slowly, expecting the creature which had claimed her father to be lunging at her. Instead, she was confronted by a woman in a tattered dress. The girl looked up at her. A-are you c-cold? asked the girl, her voice little more than a whisper and shaking from cold and fright. The woman looked down, the wind catching her long black-blue hair and throwing it out behind her. The woman smiled at the girl and leant down to her. Dont you worry about me, little one she said, her voice soft, What on earth are you doing out here alone?
The girl shuddered and shut her eyes tight. The woman grinned, showing teeth as white as the surrounding snow. Come now, child, are you lost? Where are your parents? She asked
Then girl opened her eyes again, looking fearfully at the woman and nodding. The womans grin grew wild, Youre lost then? Well come here, Ill help you. Ill not hurt you. Her voice changed, growing into a harsh whisper. She drew then girl into her arms, sighing as she felt the girls heartbeat. She opened her mouth wide, bearing her teeth. The girl whimpered as she felt the womans sharp teeth on her neck. The woman prepared to bite, extending her fangs.
Fate!
Then woman turned quickly, dropping the girl to the ground and forgetting about her hunger when she heard the sharp warning from behind her. Her eyes widened as she saw a man stood before her. N-Nyx! she exclaimed, a slight blush spreading across her pale face, I-I wasnt- I swear, I-
Nyx cut her off, Fate, we dont hunt their offspring. Ive told you this before. If we hunted the children, thered be no more humans.
Fate sighed and looked away, But if I hadnt found this one, shed have died anyway! I... I saw her earlier, in the forest. I was... Her father... she trailed off.
Nyx sighed, Were you hunting her father?
No! I was... I only saw them by accident! Fate defended
So why isnt the girl safe in her home? Or where is her father? pushed Nyx
I was watching them both. Her father went too far, chasing a deer or something. He went into the deep forest. He didnt get the chance to scream. She finished with a bitter note in her voice. Nyx sighed again. The girl was still laid where Fate had dropped her, scared that if she moved, she would be killed. The girl flinched as Nyx placed his hand on her back.
Come now, little one, we will not hurt you. He said; his voice soft and kind, drastically different from when he had been speaking to Fate. Fate was just being silly, trying to scare you. Were going to take you home now, ok?
The girl sat up and looked at him, still unsure but less afraid. Fate managed to smile kindly at her; Hes right, you know. Im sorry for scaring you her voice was soft again.
The girl got to her feet and grabbed the back of Nyxs coat, clinging to him. Nyx growled slightly, too faintly for the girl to hear. The girl allowed herself to be lifted gently into Fates arms. The two Vampires walked into the village, finding the girls home easily, even though the girl had fallen asleep before they entered the village gates. Fate knocked on the door of the childs home gingerly, trying not to wake her. The door was opened almost instantly. A woman stood framed in the dim moonlight, her auburn hair tied loosely in a bun. She opened her mouth to speak, but found no words when she saw her child. A tear fell down the womans face as Fate handed the child over. Nyx told the woman that they had found her in the forest, laid next to the body of her father. The woman thanked them for bringing her child back, and then closed the door, leaving the two Vampires outside. Fate shivered, Nyx, she asked, Wherere we going? We cant exactly stay in this village...
Nyx grimaced, Where ever were going, wed better do it fast. Dawn is fast approaching
Fate grinned crookedly, Are we flying then? Back into the mountains to spend another sleepless day?
Nyx shook his head, not this time, Fate. Weve proved tonight that we can live amongst humans, I feel like going to another village
Fates grin slid off her face, You cant be serious, can you? I mean... We still have to eat
Travellers, hunters, those endangering the lives of the innocent, theyre the ones who we shall feed on, those who will not be missed. Come now, we still need to fly to where ever were going. Preferably somewhere with no snow...
Fate grinned again and called on her wings. She wrapped her arms around Nyx and leapt into the cold night air. Nyx glanced through the window of the childs home. He mentally slapped himself as he locked eyes with the mother of the child. The woman didnt even get her scream out before Fate and Nyx were out of the village.















Comments
( I am skipping university lessons right now, so shhht don't tell anyone... )
I love the story, the concept is great, it's just a little sad that everything is happening so fast which causes a lack of tension, and everything is a bit too clear right from the beginning. That's a pity, because tension makes people stick to a story and when they know right in the beginning what will happen they may lose interest.
Can I have those wings, please?
And a second chapter?
(It's christmas, ain't it? So I can make some wishes. )
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Human beings make life so interesting.
Do you know, that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom.
^_^ Thank you so much! I know that things move far too fast, but I learned when I wrote The Ghost that no-one reads things if they move slowly enough to make sense. Oh well. I am writing a new chapter, and this one will move more slowly ^_^
I can't promise you the wings, but there most definatley will be a new chapter up!
And since you've been such a fabulous frend, you're getting a character xD
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There are six Ninjas in this signature. Can you spot them all?
'Out of the nights filled with pain and fear
I rise
Into a sky that's wonderfully clear'
In regards to the "One side of her painted lips turned up, in a creul smile" I think that line would flow better without the comma. That is just my opinion though. I would also suggest adding more emotion, like saying how scared the girl was while walking in the snow, but do not let me change your style of writing.
Anyhow, on a litter note, it was a very great first chapter! It seemed very interesting and well thought out. I can not wait for the next chapter, this one has sucked me in. You were very good at introducing your characters. You did not make it obvious that she was a vampire until the very last second, and that worked really well.
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"You can race me if you want...but my imagination already beat you."
~Yumiko~
I'll take any tips you give me ^_^
I only just niticed that comma
Thank you so much! You wont have to wait long for the next one, I've been sucked in as well xD
I'm going to try using all the tips I've had from this chapter in the next one.
It'll be my christmas present to you all!
--
There are six Ninjas in this signature. Can you spot them all?
'Out of the nights filled with pain and fear
I rise
Into a sky that's wonderfully clear'
--
"You can race me if you want...but my imagination already beat you."
~Yumiko~
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